


The Moment We Met

by Samunderthelights



Category: Call Me By Your Name - All Media Types
Genre: 26 years later they meet again, CMBYN - Freeform, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-22
Updated: 2019-10-16
Packaged: 2020-10-25 20:43:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,772
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20730464
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Samunderthelights/pseuds/Samunderthelights
Summary: It’s been twenty-six years since that summer, but when Elio watches Oliver, he feels as though he is back in Italy again.For just a moment, he feels like he is seventeen years old again, about to have the summer of a lifetime.





	1. 2009

2009

It’s been twenty-six years since that summer, but when Elio watches Oliver, as he steps into the room, he feels as though he is back in Italy again. Back in his room, where he had first seen Oliver, when he had first arrived at the villa.  
For just a moment, he feels like he is seventeen years old again, about to have the summer of a lifetime.  
But that was twenty-six years ago, and after they had said goodbye to each other, they had only spoken to each other once. That was when Oliver had called him to announce his engagement. There had been no phone calls after that. No more postcards, no more visits. They had never seen each other again.  
Elio had always remembered his first love, but he had never considered visiting him. He had never picked up the phone himself, nor had he stopped by, not even when he was in town.  
But when he had gotten an invite for Oliver’s 50th birthday, he couldn’t bring himself to throw it out. He wanted to ignore it, because what was the point in dragging the past up now? After all this time, shouldn’t they just let it rest? It was one summer, nothing more. So what would be the point in going back now?  
He had mentioned the invitation to his mother, but she hadn’t been surprised, because she had gotten one as well. That had made him feel better about it, because surely this meant that Oliver was simply inviting everyone he had ever spent time with. Not just him.  
But when he had gotten here this afternoon, he was told that it was a surprise party, and it hadn’t been Oliver who had invited him at all. It had been his wife, who had heard all about his summer in Italy, and his children, who had grown up on his stories, and who had fallen in love with Italy because of it.  
Elio had quickly figured out that to them, he was simply the friend Oliver had made during the summer, and they had lost contact. Oliver had not told them everything.

Elio is grateful to have disappeared into the crowd, but as Oliver steps into the room, and his friends and family all start to make their way towards him, he wonders if Oliver will recognise him. What will he make of him being here?  
But before he can think about it too much, he notices the man’s eyes focussing on him. It takes a moment, but then he sees the look of recognition, and the big smile forming on his face.  
“Excuse me for a moment,” Oliver says, as he makes his way through the crowd, over to the other man. “Elio? Is that you?”  
Elio gives a nod, not knowing what to say. He had been thinking about this moment ever since Oliver had left, twenty-six years ago, and he had thought of hundreds, if not thousands of things to say, but now that they are here, no words come to mind.  
“You look…,” Oliver says, but then he just laughs. “I can’t believe you’re here!”  
He pulls Elio into a big hug, but it’s awkward and uncomfortable, and although Elio forces himself to hug him back, there is something that keeps him back, and he knows that Oliver has sensed it. Because when he lets go of him, the smile has gone from his face.  
“How is your mom?”  
“She’s… she wanted to be here, but she’s getting too old to travel, so…” He shrugs.  
“I heard about your dad. I’m so sorry. That must have been hard.”  
“Yeah.”  
An uncomfortable silence follows, and Elio wishes he could think of something to say, but all the things he had been wanting to say seem wrong now.  
“You look great, Elio. I’m glad you came,” Oliver says, putting his hand on the younger man’s arm, but it only makes Elio feel more uncomfortable. All those years ago he would have done anything for a touch like that, but with Oliver’s family here? His wife and sons? It feels wrong. It feels like something that belongs to a different lifetime. To a different world.  
“Happy birthday, Oliver.”

\---

“Thank you for meeting me.”  
“Sure,” Elio says, as he sits down at the table. He had left the party only minutes after Oliver had arrived, but he didn’t think Oliver had noticed. He figured he would go home, and he would never hear from him or his family again.  
But this morning he had gotten a text from Oliver, to ask if he’d be willing to meet him for lunch. At first Elio wanted to say no, because after last night’s awkwardness, he didn’t think he could face him again. But then he decided that it would be good to end things with a proper goodbye. Not with a phone call, not by sneaking out of a party.  
“It’s quieter here,” Oliver says. “Last night was…”  
“Your family seems nice,” Elio interrupts him, a proud smile forming on the older man’s face.  
“Yeah, they’re great.”  
“Your wife, she’s… she’s great.”  
“Disappointed?” Oliver asks, and Elio can’t help but smile. “She is, she’s…”  
“Does she know?” Elio interrupts him, even though he already knows the answer. “About us?”  
“No.”  
“Why not?”  
“Because I was scared that she would leave me,” Oliver explains. “That she would tell people, and my parents would find out,” he admits, and Elio nods, looking down at his hands. “Because I didn’t think I would ever see you again. I didn’t think we would be here, so many years later…”  
“Do you love her?”  
“I do,” Oliver says, and Elio looks up at him, to see if he is telling the truth. But when he stares into his eyes, and tries to read them, he can’t. “I am sorry. For hurting you.”  
“You didn’t hurt me.”  
“No?”  
“No.” Elio tries to hide the truth, tries to hide how heartbroken he had been. But by the small smile on the other man’s face, he can tell that there is no point. Oliver can see right through his act. “Why didn’t you tell me you had a girlfriend?”  
“Because I wasn’t with her, when I was with you,” Oliver explains. “But when I got home, I was…” He sighs. “She came over, and she told me how much she had missed me.”  
“That was it?”  
“That was it.”  
Elio nods, having no words to say. No words to describe how much it still hurts. That phone call, hearing those words, knowing that Oliver wouldn’t be coming back to him. It had hurt him more than he had ever, or will ever be able to put into words.  
“Are you with someone?”  
“No.” Elio shrugs. “There have been people, but… I don’t know… I don’t think I will ever settle down. I’m too busy with work anyway,” he adds, eager to change the subject.  
“Yes, I read an article about you last year. About a tour, I think?”  
“Maybe. I got back a couple of weeks ago. And I’m always moving, always, you know, trying to spend time here, then some time with my mom, who moved into the villa after my dad died. So… I don’t know where I’ll end up.”  
“But you’re happy?” Oliver asks, a serious look on his face. For a moment Elio wonders if he is, and he thinks back to the summer of ’83. He thinks back to the moment when he and Oliver had first kissed, to the little moments they had shared. Little moments, which had filled him with such happiness. Such a happiness which he had never felt again.  
“I am,” he says, because although he had been the happiest he had ever been back in the summer of ’83, he has been happy since, and he still is. He has a good life, and he cannot deny that. “Are you?”  
“I sometimes wish I could go back,” Oliver admits. “We would have had more time, more…”  
“Don’t.”  
“Elio, I…”  
“Don’t,” Elio warns him, and Oliver nods. “I should go back to my hotel. My flight leaves in a few hours.”  
“I’ll walk with you,” Oliver offers, and Elio wants to object, but the thought of having to say goodbye already, knowing that he will never see him again, it is too much to bear. So he simply gives a nod.

“Do you remember the song they…,” Oliver begins, and before he can even finish his sentence, Elio already knows where this is going.  
“’Love My Way’.”  
“You remember?”  
“Of course.”  
“Every time I hear that song, it takes me back,” Oliver says, a shy smile on his face. “I remember when we heard it, when those people were playing it in their car, and we… I think it was a church? And I started dancing with her, and you just…,” he laughs, and Elio can’t help but smile when he remembers. “you just threw up, and it…”  
“That was the night before you left.”  
“Yeah.”  
The smile disappears from Oliver’s face, as they stop in front of the hotel. And although people are moving past them left, right and centre, it feels like it is only them, just like it had been, all those years ago at the train station.  
“I wish we would have had more time,” Oliver repeats, but this time Elio agrees.  
“Me too.”  
“I’ve missed you,” the older man whispers, before putting his hand on the side of Elio’s neck. Elio melts into his touch, before kissing him. Oliver kisses him back, no hesitation.  
And it isn’t until they open their eyes, and they break away from each other, that they both seem to realize that this is real. This wasn’t a memory or a dream.  
“I’m sorry, I…,” Oliver begins, but Elio just flashes a small smile.  
“I have to go now.”  
“Goodbye, Elio.”  
“Goodbye.”


	2. 2012

**2012**

Elio is just about to start preparing dinner, when he hears a car outside. He is about to go look who it is, when he hears his mother’s voice from the living room.

“Elio, darling! Who is it?”

“I don’t know, mom. I will go look,” he says, as he had already been planning on doing, before making his way over to the door. But as he is about to open it, there is a knock.

“Hi,” Oliver says, when the door opens, but Elio isn’t sure what to say or do, so he simply stares at him. Not even sure if he is imagining him.

It has been three years since they had said goodbye, and here he is, in Italy? Surely this is just one of his daydreams again. But when Oliver starts speaking, he snaps out of it.

“May I come in?”

“Sure,” Elio says, and he steps aside, still not sure what is happening, or why. “What are you… why…?”

“Is your mom in?”

“Of course. She’s…,” Elio says, pointing at the sitting room. Oliver goes in, so Elio closes the door, and follows him.

“Oliver! Is that you? Oh, how lovely to see you! You look wonderful!” Annella exclaims, opening up her arms. “I would get up, but…”

“Don’t you dare move,” Oliver laughs, before leaning down to give her a big hug. “What happened?” he asks, looking down at her leg.

“Oh, you know… I fell over, broke my leg. At my age it happens, but it doesn’t heal as well as it should,” Annella explains. “But tell me, what brings you here!”

“I was in Milan for work, so I figured I would stop by and see how you were doing.”

“Oh, how lovely! Elio, doesn’t he look wonderful? It’s so good to have you both here again!”

“How is she?” Oliver asks, when he and Elio are in the kitchen.

“I’m not sure. She’s been… well, you’ve seen her. She’s like that one minute, but when we go in later, she might be crying, or… sometimes she doesn’t even remember my dad…”

“How long have you been taking care of her?”

“Just over a year,” Elio sighs. “We had to send everyone away, because the money ran out. I had to stop working… So it’s just the two of us now. But she’s been getting worse.”

“What does the doctor say?”

“Not much.”

Elio tries to focus on the pot on the stove, but when it hits him that he is slowly but surely losing his mother, he can feel the lump in his throat forming, and the tears are burning in his eyes.

“Come here,” Oliver says, before pulling him into a hug. “She is lucky to have you. You know that, right?”

“I’m scared,” Elio admits, saying these words out loud for the first time. And when Oliver lets go of him, and he looks into his eyes, he expects to see pity, but he doesn’t. There is something else there though, but he can’t figure out what it is.

“Oliver! What are you doing here?” Annella asks, when he and Elio go into the sitting room. “When did you get back?”

“Today. I was in Milan for work, so I figured I would stop by,” Oliver repeats, as he and Elio help her up, to lead her into the yard. “It’s great to see you, Mrs. Perman. You look beautiful.”

“What a charmer. You always were. That is probably why my Elio fell in love with you,” Annella laughs, not realizing how awkward she has just made things, but Oliver simply tries to laugh off the comment, as they sit her down at the table.

“Mom, I…”

“Isn’t this lovely, Elio?” Annella interrupts him. “I always knew Oliver would come back for you.”

“He didn’t…,” Elio begins, but then he just sighs.

“It’s great to be back, Mrs. Perlman.”

“Please, do call me Annella.”

“I am so sorry about what she said,” Elio says, when Oliver joins him out on the balcony, later that night. Oliver had been planning on staying at a hotel, but Annella refused to let him leave, so he is now staying in the room where Elio had stayed, all those years ago.

“What if she…,” Oliver begins, but then he stops. Elio looks up at him, but the older man just shakes his head.

“How is your wife?”

“She’s fine, we’re…” Oliver gets a small smile on his face, before looking down into the yard. “things haven’t been great.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Are you?”

“Yeah,” Elio says, and he is surprised to find that he actually means the words. “What happened?”

“You did.”

“You told her?” Elio asks, and Oliver looks back up at him and shrugs.

“I didn’t have to. After you came to my party, and I saw you again… and we kissed…” He sighs, before stepping into the room. He sits down on the bed, where Elio joins him.

“I’m sorry. I knew I should have ignored the invitation, I just…”

“It wasn’t your fault,” Oliver interrupts him. “But seeing you again, it made me question everything. If I hadn’t gotten married, if I had just… if I had come back here the next summer… what would have happened?”

“We would have grown to hate each other.”

“Yeah?” Oliver asks, a shy smile on his face.

“It would have never worked.”

“How do you know?”

“Because you were meant to get married, have a family,” Elio says, but with every word, it gets more difficult to continue. Because he has often wondered the same thing, and he wonders if there would have been ways to make it work. “What we had, that was nothing.”

“Nothing?” Oliver asks, unable to hide the pain in his voice.

“Nothing,” Elio repeats, before getting up. “Goodnight, Oliver,” he says, before leaving the room. But as soon as he closes the door behind him, tears start falling from his eyes. Because he hadn’t meant those words, not one bit of it. But he knew he needed to say it, not only to protect himself, but to protect Oliver.

\---

Elio is in the grass, pretending to be reading a book, but he is watching Oliver, who is playing a board game with Annella. They have been playing games all morning, and Annella hasn’t stopped smiling. For a moment, Elio allows himself to imagine what their lives would be like, if Oliver were to stay. But he knows that Oliver is leaving in only a matter of hours, and it hurts him more than he dares to admit.

“I just want to ehm…,” Oliver begins, when he joins him, a little while later, when Annella is inside, taking a nap. “I want to apologize, for what I said, earlier this week.”

“I don’t…?”

“For saying that you made me question my marriage. That wasn’t fair on you.”

“It wasn’t,” Elio says, and for a moment, he feels like he is seventeen-years old again. He knows he needs to snap out of it, but he can’t. “You don’t get to blame me, when you…”

“I don’t. I just wanted you to know how I feel. That is all. I thought I could talk to you.”

“Well, don’t,” Elio snaps, and Oliver can’t help but smile. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t worry.”

“I didn’t mean it, when I said that it was nothing,” Elio admits, staring up at a tree. “You meant a lot to me.”

“I know.” Oliver says, before taking the younger man’s hand in his. “Do you think maybe there is…”

“What?”

“There could be an Elio and an Oliver out there, right now, about to meet each other for the first time,” Oliver says, and Elio looks at him. “About to have the summer of a lifetime.”

“About to fall in love for the first time,” Elio adds, and Oliver raises an eyebrow.

“Yeah?”

Elio nods, before resting his head on the other man’s shoulder.

“Oliver?”

“Mhm?”

“I want to show you something. Maybe it’s crazy, or…,” Elio begins, but Oliver stops him.

“Show me,” he says, and Elio gives a small nod, before getting up, and leading him up to his bedroom, where he opens up his wardrobe.

He pulls out the blue shirt, which he hasn’t worn, not since that summer, but he has kept it with him wherever he went. A constant reminder that the summer had been real, that it hadn’t just been a dream.

“Is this…”

“It’s your shirt,” Elio explains, and the saddest smile forms on the older man’s lips, as he looks down at the shirt. Tears start forming in his eyes, and Elio can tell that just like him, he still remembers everything that had happened.

“I can’t believe you still have this.”

“You can have it back if you want it, it’s…”

“Keep it,” Oliver says, before looking up at him. “Elio, I…”

“I know.”


	3. 2019

**2019**

Elio has just left the church, after his mother’s funeral, and he is about to get into his car, when Marzia comes up to him. Although their relationship years ago had not worked out, she had become a good friend of his over the years.

“Do you want me to ride with you?”

“No, I ehm… will you go to the villa and meet everyone?” Elio asks, as he gets the keys to the villa out of his pocket. “I need to be on my own for a few minutes.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, I’ll be fine. I just need to get away from all of this for a moment,” Elio explains, before giving Marzia a big hug. “Thank you, for…,” he begins, but then he notices a figure coming up to them, and he lets go of Marzia.

“Is that…?” she asks, and Elio nods.

He hasn’t seen or spoken to Oliver since he had come to visit them, and as they had said goodbye, he knew there would be no more visits like that. After his mother’s death he had sent him an invitation to the funeral, but there had been no reply, and he had assumed that he wouldn’t be here. So to see him here, it takes Elio’s breath away.

“Oliver,” Marzia says, as she sticks out her hand.

“Marzia, wow,” the man says, as he shakes her hand.

“I didn’t know you would be here,” Elio says, and Oliver nods, an embarrassed look on his face.

“I wasn’t sure if you wanted me here, so… I sat in the back, but… I am so sorry, Elio.”

Elio just nods, having heard the words ‘I’m sorry’ so many times over the last days, that they have lost their meaning.

“Where is your wife? Is she here? I would love to meet her,” Marzia asks, trying to make conversation, but when Elio looks down, he notices that Oliver isn’t wearing a wedding ring anymore.

“Oh, we ehm… we got divorced, a few years ago now,” Oliver explains.

“I’m sorry to hear that,” Marzia says. “I should get going, but it was good to see you again.”

“You too,” Oliver says, flashing a small smile.

Marzia leaves, and an uncomfortable silence follows between the two men, as people walk past them, to get to their cars, ready to return home, or to the villa.

“How are you?”

“I’m not sure.” Elio admits. “I was actually going to ehm…” He nudges his head towards the car. “I can’t deal with going back home, to face all of them.”

“Do you want me to go?”

“No,” Elio quickly says, “Come with me?”

Oliver nods, before getting into the car with Elio. Elio wasn’t sure where he wanted to go before, but now that Oliver is with him, he knows exactly where it is that he wants to be right now.

“Wait, is this…?”

“You recognize it?” Elio asks, as they get out of the car. “This place hasn’t changed.” He smiles to himself, as they start making their way towards the place where they had shared their first kiss.

“I can’t believe it,” Oliver says, a shy smile on his face. Elio notices it, and for a moment, he sees him as the twenty-something year old student who had been here all those years ago. For a moment, they are young men again, and their lives are yet to begin.

“Do you remember…?”

“What?” Elio asks, as he turns to face Oliver. It has gone dark outside, but after having spent some time cooling off in the water, they had laid down in the grass, and they hadn’t gotten up since.

“Thirty-six years…”

“I still remember it,” Elio admits, and he can’t help but notice the blush on Oliver’s face. “Our first kiss, the first time we…”

“Yeah, alright,” Oliver laughs. But then he sighs, and he looks up at the sky.

“What happened? With your wife.”

“I told her about you.”

“What did she say?”

“She was relieved. She told me she had always known that there was something missing, that…” He sighs. “She thought she had done something wrong, but now she finally knew why our marriage wasn’t… why I wasn’t right.”

“Did she leave you?” Elio asks, and the older man nods, his eyes still focussed on the sky. “Do you regret telling her?”

“No. I wish I had told her sooner,” Oliver admits, now looking back at him. “She could have found someone else. Someone…,” he begins, but then he stops. “I regret not being honest with her.”

“Do your sons know?”

“They do. After I told my wife, I wanted to be honest with them as well,” Oliver explains. “So I sat them down, and I told them about my summer here, about what we had together.”

“What did they say?”

“They were upset. For months they didn’t speak to me.” Oliver sighs, and Elio grabs his hand, because he can tell that it hurts to talk about it. “But eventually they explained to me that they were upset because I had been lying to their mom, not because I’m…”

“How is your relationship with them now? Do you still see them?”

“Yeah. I always had this wall built up around me, because I was trying to keep people from finding out who I am,” Oliver explains, “but now that I’ve told them… I feel like I have wasted most of my life, hiding. Living a life that wasn’t mine.”

“Maybe now you can…,” Elio begins, but then he gets nervous, and he feels like he is that seventeen-year old boy again.

“What?”

“Nothing.”

\---

“Thank you, for staying with me,” Elio says, as he hands Oliver a drink. “I don’t know how I would have coped without you, these last weeks.”

“I didn’t realize how much I had missed this place.”

“It still feels the same, doesn’t it?” Elio smiles to himself, as he looks up at the villa. “After you left, I ehm… I often dreamt you would come back, and we would end up living here.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Elio admits, before looking over to the older man, who has a shy smile on his face. “Do you think the Elio and Oliver you mentioned, who are still out there somewhere…”

“I would have given anything to come back,” Oliver interrupts him. “I wanted to, but the thought of having to say goodbye to you again… I wasn’t strong enough. And for that I am so sorry, Elio. I…”

“We could have had more time.”

“Yeah.” Oliver agrees. “We could have had more time.”

\---

It’s the night before Oliver is supposed to go back home, and Elio is out on the balcony, unable to sleep. He has already lost his father, and only weeks ago his mother, and the thought of losing Oliver, it makes him feel anxious, unable to cope.

He had assumed that Oliver was asleep, but when he hears footsteps behind him, he jumps up.

“What are you…?”

“I can’t leave.”

“Why not?” Elio asks, but the other man doesn’t say a word, he just steps up to him, and puts his hands on the side of his neck, before kissing him. Elio remembers being here, thirty-six years ago, on the night where they had slept together for the first time, and when he closes his eyes, he is back there again.

“I can’t waste any more time,” Oliver says, and Elio snaps out of his thoughts. “Look at me, I’m…”

“Don’t.” Elio warns him, trying to see him as the twenty-four year old student for just a moment longer. But the reality is staring him right in the face, because they are not those two young men anymore. They have gotten older, and so many years have been wasted.

“I can’t lose you again.”

Elio rests his head against the other man’s chest, trying to take all of this in, wondering what this means. What is going to happen now? Will they stay here and find a way to make things work? Will they have to move to America, to be closer to Oliver’s family? What would happen to the villa then? Are they even ready to be in a relationship? But when he hears that one word coming out of Oliver’s mouth, he knows that none of it matters. Because thirty-six years ago they were here, and they had fallen in love. They had missed their chance. But this time, they know that they will do anything to grab their chance with both hands, and they will not let it go.

“Oliver,” Oliver whispers, and Elio can feel his heart skip a beat. He is unable to hide the smile on his face, and the other man wraps his arms around him, pulling him closer.

“Elio.”

\---

“What?” Oliver laughs, when he finds the younger man staring up at him the next morning, when he wakes up.

“For a moment I thought I had dreamt it.”

“I’m here,” Oliver reassures him, before pulling him closer. “I’m not leaving anymore.”

“What is going to happen now?”

“I don’t know.”

“What about…,” Elio begins, but then he just sighs, unable to find the words to express his anxiety, his nervousness. Yes, this is what he had wanted all along, but now that he has it, it terrifies him. Because having it, means that he can lose it all over again.

“This is only the beginning,” Oliver tries, but he can tell that it isn’t enough. “How about we start all over again? The last thirty-six years, it’s… none of it matters. You and me, now, this is where it begins.”

“What do you mean?” Elio laughs, but Oliver sticks out his hand, and Elio carefully shakes it.

“Hi, I’m Oliver.”

“Elio.”


End file.
